It’s my birthday today.
Normally that would look more like: It’s my BIRTHDAY TODAY!!!!! But I’ve got mixed emotions today. Some of you might already know this (via twitter), but my grandpa passed away on Friday. He’d been in and out of the hospital for the past month, and it was becoming apparent that he wouldn’t be with us much longer. When I got the news that afternoon, though, it still hit me hard. Hard like when the piano falls on Wiley Coyote as he chases the Roadrunner. And it’s amazing how you can feel so high and so low all in one day. I woke up being thrilled about leaving for Vegas, and then sadness washed over me with the force of a hurricane, all in a matter of minutes. The initial shock is starting to wear off, but it’s still going to take a long time to process.
So here I am, sitting in my hotel room in Vegas, on my birthday, trying to balance the grief with the fun, and it’s hard. If I’m being honest, part of me feels guilty for enjoying myself. Like I’m ignoring the fact that my grandpa is gone, or even worse, not caring, and that I’m simply continuing on my merry way. Obviously that’s not true, but sometimes it feels like it.
But here’s the thing. My grandpa is in Heaven. With Jesus. Which means he is no longer in pain. I will get to see him again, and I know he would want me to be having a wonderful time today. He is. And all of that? It gives me peace. Which is the best birthday present I could ask for this year.
I love you, Grandpa. Thank you for everything. Can’t wait to be with you again.
