What He Would Have Wanted

It’s been a tough weekend for me and my family…

My grandpa passed away on Friday.

It all happened so fast. He went to the hospital on Tuesday with stomach pains, but it didn’t seem to be anything too serious and he looked to be on the mend. Friday morning, however, he suddenly took a turn for the worst, and he breathed his last breath before noon. So fast… but it’s what he wanted.  And I guess if I had to choose, it’s what I would have chosen for him, too. We all would, really. If our loved ones could pass as quickly and painlessly as possible, we would all choose that…

We just never want that day to come.

Friday afternoon my brother, my cousin Alyssa, and Jake and I went to my parent’s house. To cope. To reminisce. To just be together. After a bit, one by one the others had to leave, until it was just me and my parents. My dad asked me what kind of person I thought of when I thought about grandpa. I said the first thing that came to my mind. I think of a man who wanted to enjoy life to the fullest and help others around him enjoy it, too. My grandpa found such joy in seeing other people’s joy. Especially his family. And extra especially if it involved food. Oh yes, I’m pretty sure I get my food obsession from that great man. Haha. I think most of my favorite memories of my grandpa involve food in some way. It’s hard to swallow the fact that no more memories will be made…

But I take comfort in a few things.

I take comfort in the fact that my grandpa had a fierce love for the Lord, and that he is now in Heaven, no longer limited by his earthly body. I take comfort in the fact that my grandpa is now with my grandma again, and that he will never have to be parted from his dear love again. I take comfort in the fact that he his happy, and he would want me and my family to be happy, too. I mean, of course there is pain. Of course there is sadness. Of course there are tears. But I truly believe that my grandpa would want us to celebrate his life, not dwell on his death. So I will try to focus on that…

I have to.

Because it is the only way to get through this raw feeling in my chest. To get through seeing everyone close to me going through this sorrow. To find joy in my family being all together for his funeral, remembering and supporting one another through this difficult time.

And because it’s what he would have wanted.

                                                                                          Photo by: Scott Jarvie. Thank you, Scott, for capturing this priceless memory.

I’m traveling to Chicago tomorrow to be with family for a week. I’ll still be blogging, but I might be a little slower on the email front. Thanks for your understanding. And thank you so much to those of you who have shared your prayers, condolences, sweet thoughts, and kind words of support for me and my family. I truly appreciate every single word.